Story of my life. I really didn't do much today. I started out having a pretty good morning and Jonas and I slept in ( 8 am, baby! ), and took our time getting around to go to daycare - which we call school. I love my daycare! They even have little classes and teach the kids with flashcards and they have a curriculum that they follow. They even have parent/teacher nights so you can conference with the teachers. Love. Them.
I did call my friend, who is pregnant and due in July. She is probably my best friend, and I know she wants to help me through this miscarriage, but I don't think she understands how hard it is right now to see pregnant women. Not just her, but ALL pregnant women. And why is it that they seem to be EVERYWHERE??? I talked to Melissa and we chatted for a few minutes, as she was at the lab doing her 1 hour glucose test. When she got back she gave me a call and I must have had my head in the washer, because I never heard the phone. I decided, upon listening to her message that she was going to be at home cleaning, that I would walk down to her place and deliver some diapers that I had bought for baby #2. That really kind of put me right back down to earth. Here I was giving my best friend the stash of diapers I had bought for my baby. I really needed to get rid of them, though. I was confronted with them every time I opened the closet door in Jonas' room, so I thought I would be okay with giving them away. After all, I am not going to need them for a good long time..if ever. She wasn't home, so I left them on the porch. She was very grateful, but I think she doesn't know what to say/do. No one does, really, and that is okay. Hell, I don't even know what to say to myself.
I do tell myself every single day that I need to get over my self imposed pity party. I do well for a while, and then I crash. Mother's day is coming, and we are spending Saturday with my in-laws and Sunday with my mom. I hope I can keep it together.
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