Feelings

You know, I feel pretty good lately. I haven't stopped thinking about my miscarriage, and the hurt hasn't gone away in any way, shape or form. I have come to a realization that I WILL have another child, my next pregnancy WILL be successful, and our family will be complete. That being said, let me just tell ya, I love love LOVE to see Jonas playing with other children and he will be such a good big brother. I am really having trouble with the fact that we have to wait. At least 3 months. That is what my doctor said. He did say that we could try sooner, but as soon as he said that 3 month thing, that is all Todd heard and that is what he is going with. That puts us into August. Which will be nearly impossible to TTC, because Lucas will be here. So that puts us to September. And it won't happen right away, no matter what wish/want/think will happen. Sooo, I guess I am just depressed right now that I can't begin trying now. I am not seeing another pregnancy happening any time soon. And that is a bummer to me tonight.